teosongjian-loves

2010-05-10T01:58:00.003+08:00

SHIFTED
BACK
TO
CHING-WEIWEI.BLOGSPOT.COM !
DO TAKE NOTE!

2010-01-07T15:29:00.001+08:00

Well, I no longer believe in love. In any way shape or form, I don’t believe it exists. I believe people think they love people, to provide themselves with a sense of comfort and hope. But in reality, everyone you love will end up hurting you. That’s just how things are. So, I’ve honestly given up relationships. Friendships and everything. Human involvement only leads to disappointment. Nothing people feel is constant, everyone is changing, and everyone is fake. People are just products of each other, and I’m honestly tired of seeing the same thing everyday. I’m tired of people and their trained emotions, taught to feel certain ways in certain scenarios. So from my brokenness, I’ve decided to recreate myself. Make something better of myself from nothing. It’s only when we are completely broken, that we can understand the greater power of our spirit. And find what we are truly made of.

2009-12-29T03:32:00.002+08:00

I've moved!
To, Teosongjian-loves.blogspot.com!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-26T14:40:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas people! :D
I had a crazy night on christmas eve but it was fun nevertheless.
Could have been better thou.

I've gotten myself an awesome christmas gift that I've been wanting it for years.

If baby was here, it would be perfect..
oh well..

Adorables

2009-12-22T04:30:00.002+08:00

Its been so long, its been a year since we stopped talking.

I used to have 2 really awesome friends that I know I can rely on no matter what happens yet, I screwed things up so badly that its impossible for us to revert back to how we used to be. There are many things I'd regretted in my life and one of my biggest regret will have to be you two. I know you two were really concern about me but at that period of time, there were so many things happening in my life which I never told anyone and, its hard for me to really put my focus. I was naive in the past, I really was.

Its 4.38am in the morning and I was reading through one of their blog archive. And I realized that I missed out so many parts in this friendship when I did not put my focus right. I always thought I was matured enough to handle this friendship well and salvage it but yet, I failed terribly. I will always thank God for putting 2 such awesome girls into my life.

Although the both of them might no longer be bothered by me anymore, but even if 10 years down the road, they will still really be important to me. Because I'm really changed because of them and what they meant to me.

I don't think they will ever read this post but, I'm really not trying to gain sympathy. I just hope for a little space that still belongs to me to pen down all my thoughts and feelings..

Till then..

Day 131

2009-12-21T15:59:00.002+08:00

So here’s the deal: with me, it’s all or nothing. I love completely or I don’t love at all, so you have to make a choice. Do you want all of me or none? I know it seems extreme but here’s the thing; you’re the one thing in my life that I’m sure about. For me, there’s no choice cause I’ve already decided. Pick me like I’ve picked you.

-runawaytrain

Love me like how I'm loving you.

2009-12-20T03:09:00.002+08:00

Its been 894 days since we first met,
260 days since we're together and
130 days since I saw you.

I'm still loving you like how I did 260 days ago.
I'm missing you so dearly.

2009-12-19T23:19:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling really awful tonight and I came to realise, I've been feeling really awful every nights and its just that I've a wonderful group of friends to distract me and take my mind off all the things that seems impossible to solve, Or maybe its not impossible.. Just that I don't have the ability to do so yet.

I want to get out of my life now.
I really want to disappear from here..

2009-12-19T17:26:00.000+08:00

If only I had one wish, I'd want a million, trillion lifetimes that I could spend with you. I'll fall in love with you, again and again.

-runawaytrain

I mean it.

2009-12-18T22:45:00.000+08:00

I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you, how good you look when you smile, and how much I love your laugh. I daydream about you every moment, replaying pieces of our conversation, laughing at funny things that you said or did. I’ve memorized your face and the way that you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine. I can’t wait to see you again and I wonder what will happen the next time we are together. I really hope you know how much I cherish the time that we get to spend together.

-runawaytrain

2009-12-17T23:09:00.002+08:00

Life taught me a new lesson yesterday.

I can never express my true self infront of others. It will only do myself disadvantage. Its always good to put up a show to gain sympathy from others so others will be soft hearted towards you.

But one question.. How long can this last before the bubble breaks?...

2009-12-17T20:38:00.001+08:00

What it's like to date a Taurus Woman:

Taurus women are masters in the art of seduction. She will get what she wants but her patience is incredible, she will wait for what she wants She needs stability and security and will not tolerate a man who is not straight with her and leads her along with uncertainty in the future. She is the old-fashioned type, the type of woman who is associated with the drive-in soda shop days of the 60's. She is down to earth, protective, supportive, loving, devoted and loyal. She is openly affectionate in a relationship. Taurus women is perfect for the man who likes to be nurtured and pampered, providing you are loyal and devoted. She has a lot to give but she requires a lot in return. Remember, the Taurus woman is very sensitive although she might not seem so on the exterior. Court her and constantly try to impress her and you will win her heart and she will be yours. Cross a Taurus woman, and her temper will flare, she will become extremely stubborn. If you ever break her trust, it will be nearly impossible to gain it back again.

I thought this explains me quite well :D

2009-12-17T13:26:00.002+08:00

"When you've found a reason to walk away, never look back... Just keep walking. It's better to get lost moving on than to get stuck and stranded broken."

Life has been rather the same old routine for me.

On a happier note, Holiday is nearing! Which also means that Christmas is coming.
Lonely christmas for me? Maybe!
And a brand new 2010! :)

2009-12-15T00:27:00.002+08:00

Every end is a new beginning to something.
A new beginning also mark an end to something.

FML.

2009-12-13T14:51:00.001+08:00

"Letting go of someone might be hard, yet it is the best way to make the other stay. Keep in mind that no two things can occupy the same space....at the same time."

Growing up.

2009-12-12T15:39:00.004+08:00

"It's better to break your heart seeing the one you love happy with someone else rather than seeing her/him unhappy while staying with you."

Life has been rather stressful for me this few weeks.

Throughout this few weeks, I've learnt the importance of clearing up the mess properly I've created because if I don't do so and leave a tail hanging there, it will come back soon enough and, I still need to clear it.

I was too naive and stupid in the past. I really didn't think far enough. And now, everything is coming back and, I need to settle it all by myself. I really don't like the feeling of being alone facing everything :(

I broke down and cried last few days. All thanks to Jason for being there as my awesome best friend! :) He has always been just a call away. He will always try his best to rush down when I needed someone badly. He always claim that he can't comfort me, but it really feels good to know that when I need help, he will be there to offer me practical advice. To know that someone will always be there when I needed it.

Although I do not think that Jason will ever read this, but I just want to pen it down into a space. Maybe a few months later, or maybe, a few years later when I read back at this part, I will smile to myself and say, I'm so lucky to have such an awesome friend!

Oh yes, I caught 风云II yesterday! One word to describe.. Suck! I kept forcing myself to stay awake.

I wanna watch New Moon really badly :(
oh well!

2009-12-11T00:05:00.000+08:00

有好几次都想下定决心不理你，放弃这段友情。
但是，我真的做不到。因为你对我太重要。
而我，对你而言，一点也不重要。

2009-12-10T12:57:00.004+08:00

Some things are better to be left unsaid.

There is so many things happening around me recently and I'm losing control over everything. yesterday night was really a drama.

I heard of things, that I think that I really shouldn't know. Living in denial isn't really such a bad thing afterall I guess. As the very least, I can lie to myself and try to make myself happy for as long as possible until, the bubble breaks. Thats when all dreams start to shatter and, nothing seems beautiful anymore.

Maybe thats when, I can no longer differentiate what is the truth and lie anymore and learn through the hard way not to trust anybody anymore. I really thinks that having feeling sucks.
I hate what I'm feeling now, I hate it.

I hate the fact that I'm losing control over my world..

If only you're here...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
VALERIE TAN HUIXIAN :D
Love you hunny!

"Sometimes it's better to let go without knowing the real reason... because it will surely hurt more to find it UNREASONABLE."

我舍不得..

2009-12-08T09:48:00.003+08:00

"Love leaves for a reason, but never without a lesson."

I'm feeling very not myself this few days.
I really wish you were of no significance to me so I can just let you go easily..
I really wish you didn't make such a big impact in my life so I can just ignore you.
I really wish I won't have any more thing to do with you in future..

please, stop.
Stop your mindfucking, stop your psychology, stop all your cunning little tricks.
I'm really tired.

Just when everything is fading, you came back and stir everything up.
please, leave.

2009-12-07T17:01:00.003+08:00

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.

There is so many things I want to say, there are so many times I want to just break down and cry hoping someone will understand me.

Each time I keep telling myself, I'm a big girl now.
Its time I learn how to settle my own problems and stop relying on others.

I'm feeling so lost..

Happy 8th Months together!

2009-12-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

"Love is just a word until you find someone who will give its definition."

You're the someone who gave love a definition :)

Happy 8 months together silly love.
Thanks for loving me like how I'm loving you.

Life is so contradicting.

2009-12-02T11:26:00.002+08:00

" We loved like everything is endless, that everything is eternal. If only love could be as true as this lie.. "

Life is so contradicting isn't it?
When I was in secondary school, i hated school so much and skipped school like nobody business, just wanting to leave that place.
Now that I'm in polytechnic, I really wish I can go back to secondary school.

Its just like when we're all young, we wish we'll grow up fast..
When we're now nearer and nearer in seeing how materialistic this world is,
we wish we can go back to the world with rainbows and unicorn.
Because, this world is never what we thought it was.

Maybe I will want to go back to polytechnic after I graduate from it and step into the working world, that is, if I ever manage to graduate from NP and did not give up halfway.

Nothing is going my way.

2009-12-01T21:15:00.002+08:00

This 2 days are definitely not my day. I'm feeling so motherfucking pissed off now.
I hate tertiary life. Whoever says that poly life is fun, to hell with it _|_

Things are definitely not going my way.
Yesterday when I was walking to school, I fucking fell down.
Yesterday afternoon, i thought I lost my key and threw it down the dump.
I went all the way to find some indian sweeper only to find the plastic bag i threw with no keys at sight.
Then, i found it somewhere among my soft toys.

Today, i'm just so pissed with the project.
We spend like 2 hours plus only to get "Wei wei, sorry to say but the work you all done today is wrong"

Life is a fucking hassle.

2009-12-01T08:38:00.001+08:00

"..if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

2009-11-30T20:13:00.001+08:00

我绝对不会让我们的爱败给了时间.

2009-11-29T13:02:00.000+08:00

"Don't worry about people in the past. There is a reason why they did not make it into your future."

2009-11-28T23:57:00.002+08:00

I've totally no idea what you want in this friendship anymore. Sometimes you seems so awesome, sometimes you're so awful.
There are times people will mistake us as a couple just because you treat me too well, yet sometimes, you make me feel like its not worth it making you such an important person in my life. You're the one that made me believe that ex-lovers can be great friends too.
I just need to say, you're someone really important in my life and holds an important place. I've known you for 4 years. You're just like G and D in my life.
Yet, i really hate your ever changing attitude. You kept telling me that you cherish this friendship but all I can see is, your "can't-be-bothered" attitude towards me. Only when I went out with you yesterday with your clique then i realized, how great you're to them, and how awful I'm just to you.

I've no idea why I'm writing so much because I know, you will never ever visit this blog even when you know its presence. Its pointless. I worth totally nothing.

Take care friend.

2009-11-28T03:13:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, you can't blame someone if he/she is immature. You can't blame them because they live in a overly-protected environment. What I can do is, hope that one day, they will learn of this world and stop living in their own teletubbies world.
I hope they stop thinking they're always right and stop being so stuck up because,
it will hit them harder as they grow older. Its ain't always good to learn from the hard way.

But why should I let them bother me? The fact is, I still treat them as friends and, the way they're acting now just show how insensible they're. Just because they managed to get into some lousy JC doesn't mean anything :)

2009-11-26T23:00:00.000+08:00

This will just be a little part time blog of mine :>
My main blog will still be my private blog.

Life hasn't been a bed of roses for me but I hope I can take it..
Gotta find a coolio blogskin ;)